Consuelo You have to operate from your soul, your gut reaction, your instinct. This is your natural courage and vulnerability that navigates this world in a split second, a blink. It’s your brain that has you second guessing yourself, worrying whether you will be liked by others, passing a test or speaking in front of a crowd. If it’s your gift, your soul, you’ll be doing it freely without any doubt. If it’s not, then you will be operating on full brain capacity, unnatural but trained and definitely not sustainable.
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Life Lnxx Podcast
Hola Chicas
How was the start of your Autumn days? Did you feel a chill in the air and get the urge to go buy home decor of pumpkins and earthy, nature stuff? Hahaha.. You’re not alone. Even if you are in a place where the temperature hasn’t started to drop, there’s something about the lower angle of the sun in the sky that makes us want to slow our days down and prep for some type of hibernation. Or maybe, that’s just our bordering burnout yearning for the holidays.
I hope this feeling has you more open to a bit of “waffling” – that’s what the British call it when you shoot the shit for a bit. Waffling… it does make sense, the countless empty squares seemingly needing filling yet so quickly filled with minute, mindless pouring out of what we thought was substance, but really, just syrup. At least my waffling isn’t totally inane, I think.
But maybe you want some cozying up, some time to decompress like the seasons are doing. It’s not Nature that is getting us into a frenzy, telling us how many days we have left to spend money for that one, end of the year holiday. It is telling us a shift is coming. Even if you’re in the tropics, we are feeling a change, whether for the warmer or colder time of year, the change is coming. We have done great this year… we have done whatever was required of us to be safe, to find our moments of celebration and more importantly, gratitude.
So, Kudos to us all. And, yes, it’s time to slow down, time to take a break.
Your Brain or Your Soul
It must be part of our DNA, that written script in our Double X’s that has us acting in ways that we don’t understand and don’t think twice about. We begin craving sweaters and coziness, fires and blankets and want some feel-good movies streaming on our weekends. Eons ago, Nature scripted our DNA according to the pulse of the world that early humans were tied so tightly with rather than the marketing teams that get you all day long.
All those social media ads coming saying, “buy me, buy me, buy me”. Yeah, Nature isn’t doing that. Thankfully, it taught us when to begin to prep for winter, when to sleep, when we’re tired and how to run like hell from things that would harm us.
There probably was no overwritten brain action involved because it would have turned out badly for us; so much so, that we may not be here today. Can you imagine an early human working on a cave wall project and sensing that an animal was nearing him as a meal? His DNA would have instantaneously taught him to run for his life, but his brain would have said, “Dude, we have a deadline. Keep working on the wall and maybe the killer animal will just go away? Yea, he didn’t make it to anyone’s DNA now. It was survival then, but maybe it still is.
That’s what we are talking about today: understanding your natural DNA, your soul, and separating it out from your brain so that you begin to remember the difference between the two. I think this is really starting to happen more with the pandemic helping us realize that work is just that, work. It’s not your identity. It’s not your success story. And, it’s really important to secure this understanding early in life and avoid the pitfalls of regret later on.
The intent is to focus on your natural tendencies, your automatic responses, regardless of how society frames them, good vs. bad. This is your soul, your gifts and hindrances; your talents and struggles. It is all good because it is your unique existence here. This is what makes you that special person who doesn’t blend into the masses of detached souls, the ones who have neglected their uniqueness and only use their brain to maneuver in life.
Nurturing Your Soul
Are you beginning to resonate with this? I’m sure you know the qualities in you that you laugh about; how easily they jump out before your brain has time to interrupt it. Perfect! It’s that childhood freedom of acting on your DNA because it came so naturally to you before you were told by society that your DNA wasn’t liked, acceptable, or was it intolerable. Or, maybe they saw it as just a hobby or something that’s cute, or something that didn’t have to be encouraged along. They didn’t realize how deep a part of your soul it really is.
We are born loaded with the DNA that we can rely on to survive through life and we add in the taught behaviors to make our lives thrive, altering both our DNA and circumstances for the next generation. Our evolution has brought us to a point where we should be beyond survival and closer to thriving. We know that what pulses in us individually is unique to what is pulsing in someone else, regardless of our relationship to them. It’s up to us to keep that pulse strong and loud so our brains take notice and begin to think what could be done with that pulse.
But like I mentioned in Episode 3, those taught behaviors can either help us do amazing things or get us stuck on Groundhog Day for a lifetime. At a very young age, you have already been affected by the thinking of others, typically your parents. Now, hopefully your parents were with you for long, uninterrupted periods of time so that they could figure out how your DNA was scripted, who you were born to be and just what your soul was set out to do in this world. That would be a perfect start for any human; not necessarily possible for every human, but that would be a great start. Imagine, having someone figure out who you were born to be and creating the arena for you to hone your natural gifts and talents.
And then they would just watch, nurture you, bring you along in your natural being so, at the age of 14 or so, you’d be given this manual to follow. It would be all laid out for you. Here are your strengths. Here are your weaknesses. You tend to be scared when this happens; if it does happen, then use this part of your soul. When you come across this, then use that part of your soul. Life would be so easy and natural because you would be tuned into your soul. Then you could really put life over the top by using your brain that was set up for judgment and reasoning and analysis; all those tasks oriented, figure things out, problem solvings.
If instead, you were in a place where your soul was sadly denied, then most likely you are operating heavily from your brain because now it’s the only thing left for your survival. This is really tricky, though. Remember, the brain is only operating on what it was taught. If your soul was denied, then your brain was taught pain, right away. Pain from maybe ridicule or neglect or lack of validation and the brain is sending the signals back to your soul: “If you ever want to do that again, I am going to remind you how painful that felt.” Does this sound familiar?
Yeah, your brain is a bit of a coward. It only knows what it knows and maybe can build on itself to learn something new on its own. But if you let it run amuck, let it take control of you and drown out your soul, then you’re going to be held back from what comes naturally to you. You will be relying on your brain to either figure it out based only on what it knows or perhaps panic because it doesn’t know the answer.
Ok, I know that sounds familiar to everyone.
It’s unsustainable. It’s unsustainable to have your brain trying to figure out everything you’re supposed to be doing. Your brain can only operate on what it knows, and even then, it’s only because you trained it for years. Remember, it takes 30 days just to create a new habit and 90 days to make it stick, like second nature. Guaranteed within that 90 days you will have broken the cycle and have to start over. And, if you didn’t, start over to secure it as second nature, then woof!, your brain will have to always be scrambling to stay ahead.
You have to operate from your soul, your gut reaction, your instinct. This is your natural courage and vulnerability that navigates this world in a split second, a blink. It’s your brain that has you second guessing yourself, worrying whether you will be liked by others, passing a test or speaking in front of a crowd. If it’s your gift, your soul, you’ll be doing it freely without any doubt. If it’s not, then you will be operating on full brain capacity, unnatural but trained and definitely not sustainable.
Your Soul Holds Your Natural Talents
Now would be a great time to check in and see if you are operating from your soul, your place of courage and vulnerability that keeps you true to yourself, or, from your brain, the thing that is trying to figure out what to do based on what others are expecting of you. Depending on what’s happened in your life up until now, you may have some heavy digging to do to get the real answer. What you think is your natural self may just be a taught habit that becomes second nature. Again, this is great if it’s intentional and gets you to a point of thriving. But, if it was a habit that your brain put in place because it was afraid, then it’s probably a bad habit.
The brain is fearful or curious when it doesn’t know how to do something. It may get anxious or excited depending on your personality. This is ok for short term things. We all need to learn new skills because that opens the door to a larger world for us. So, that new emotional growth takes us out of our comfort zone and introduces us to new friends and perhaps our partners. These are skills that help us flourish. Skills that we decided to pick up because they were based on our own gifts, our talents, our soul.
So yeah, in that moment, when we’re asking our brain to learn something new and it’s a little scared or it’s a little excited, that’s fantastic. Push through. It’s a short-term thing ‘cause you’ll get really good at it.
For instance, I love the water. It doesn’t matter if it’s a kiddy pool or the Pacific ocean; warm or cold, I need to be in water to maintain a sense of peace and happiness. It has to be part of my life, or I go a little Cray, Cray.
I’m guessing this was a longstanding part of our matriarchal DNA and it definitely was infused in mine. My grandmother would take her 3 daughters to the beach to live all summer. They would bring mattresses, materials to make tents, cast iron pots and pans and create a summer camp on the sands of Mollendo.
You can see the pictures of the coastline of Mollendo on our website. The waves are insane there! They just crash in, one at a time, with the boom of a canon sounding. But my mother, as a little girl, would frolic in the waves, diving through them and getting rolled by them.
I was raised very similar to my mom when it came to summer on the beach, I guess she couldn’t stay away from it. We didn’t have tents and pots and pans, but together we would totally frolic in the waves. I didn’t get to live there like she did, and we didn’t get as much time together there. So instead, I spent a lot of time at our neighborhood pool, taking swim classes and ultimately getting certified for lifesaving at 10 years old.
I could not get out of the pool. I would do anything to stay in the pool. I didn’t care what they asked to me, which could put you in a difficult situation because to pass the test for the American Red Cross certification, they had me get fully clothed over my swimsuit, even with my shoes, and stand on the edge of the high dive so that the instructor could, at any time, come up behind me and shove me off and have me free falling into the 12 foot deep end of the pool. I had to take off my clothes and tie the ends of my sleeves and pant legs into knots, and then fling them forward over my head so they would fill with air and act as water floats.
All of this is probably illegal, but at the time I thought it was fantastic. I was thriving in my DNA, my soul, my being so naturally drawn to the water. It was this natural love of mine that led me to go to the lessons, but it was my brain that got me through the lessons. The brain part that used my natural talents and gifts to raise me to a level of expertise. Giddy that I got to be in the water all the time, that was my soul speaking. Figuring out how to keep me in the water and progressing, that was my brain speaking.
I didn’t set out to achieve the highest goal, but just by nurturing my soul naturally, that’s where it led me.
Speaking from Her Soul
Amanda Gorman – Poet Laureate
Now think of the parts of your soul that need a little more prodding. I mean, we are not all born perfectly, that would make us robotic. We are human, or goddesses actually, but in a human world, so we have some chinks in our soul. Let’s say you are born with a hesitancy to speak in public. It’s not that you are shy or struggle socially, but something about saying your thoughts out loud in front of others triggers something deep inside. It’s not a trained behavior, you just are naturally afraid of doing it.
There’s a great word for this, glossophobia. According to an article by the BritishCouncil.org, 75% of the population are afraid of speaking in public, they have glossophobia, and 10% are downright terrified of it. 75%, that’s a big number. There was no moment of stage disaster that led them to this phobia, just born that way.
Even Amanda Gorman, the epic Poet Laureate who delivered her amazing poem, “The Hill We Climb”, at Biden’s Inauguration, has a speech impediment. She shared with Anderson Cooper that she has a slight stutter that continued on through college. And that had her turn to writing instead of speaking. Her fabulous soul was singing her thoughts but they were limited only to paper until the day she decided to use her words to practice saying them out loud.
There’s her brain kicking in to amplify an already astounding gift, her gift of poetry, into that moment that we watched and listened to on Inauguration Day. She had used her brain for determination, for discipline, for rising even further above the celebrity that she would have gained in publication. But more so, by using her brain to train a behavior that conquers the impediment, Amanda Gorman gifted us a glorious moment of hope. I know many of us sat tearing, listening to her soul pour out the words of hope and encouragement, a call to action, with such beauty and grace that could have only come from her whole person.
Soul. Brain. Individually strong and jointly unstoppable. These two partners that you embody can perform at such a peak that even you will be surprised. They are organic and together won’t operate on a transcribed list of tasks but instead, launch into a spontaneous act of passion and determination.
Think about it. The fears that lie within our soul, that may be hindering us from really thriving beyond what our strong self can achieve easily. It’s one thing to identify your innate fears or struggles, like people being afraid of spiders, of fear of heights, or me, totally claustrophobic, but an entirely different possibility when you face them eye to eye. That’s the moment when your brain can really do magic. Instead of confirming your fears, instead of telling you to be cautious and opt for safety, your brain can turn on the encouragement, the support that will embolden you beyond what you are afraid of and it won’t let you down.
Lead With Your Soul, Not Your Brain
Maybe it’s not even fear though. Maybe it’s just a more quiet part of your soul that has you less inclined to listen to it. Maybe you feel that it may not be as important as your more forward self because it doesn’t seem as strong. But what if it just needed some help and encouragement?
Like for me, it’s really difficult for me to ask for help from anyone. Definitely a trained behavior stemming from the only female status and acts of aggression that went with it. So, what better way to practice than to ask myself for help? You may think that is self-defeating and you are right! It’s not sustainable to only ask yourself for help but still it’s a good place to start and it’s great practice.
Ask your brain to help figure something out that is calling out from within you. Something that you are innately gifted with and want to encourage to go forward with, to really shine uniquely to others and shine for others who really need your gift.
Like Amanda Gorman, ask your brain to help you train to overcome your struggle and prepare yourself for that opportunity to excel beyond your wildest dream for yourself. Not only will you survive the situation, because that’s just our base DNA, you will thrive after going through it and never look back. Maybe peek at it, laugh about how long ago that felt, but never go back.
The universe will never be the same after that Inauguration Day. And although we continue to struggle with the root human problems, we have been blessed with the gift of hope and a call for courage from Amanda. Had she not asked her brain to help her speak her truth, to clear the impediment so that she could gift us with her grace, perhaps her soul would have remained quiet and only within the pages of a book rather than her powerful spoken word.
I’m sure many of you remember it. I want you to be able to look at this all the time every day and remember it. So, in honor of Amanda Gorman, her determination to sing her soul, I am offering a special gift to the next 20 people who sign up for our newsletter. The gift is a print of part of her Inaugural spoken word poem. This part of the poem says: “For there is always light, if only we are brave enough to see it, if only we are brave enough to be it.” Yeeees!
You can see the picture of it on our website and choose from 3 different sizes and be ready for our next newsletter that will have some great surprises in it. Check out our website for the information on how to receive this beautiful gift and also the article and pictures of the mighty Peruvian shore of Mollendo.
So, ladies, ask your brain to dance, partnered and leading with your soul. Let your soul whisper in its ear what it wants, what it may need to get you to where you’re supposed to be, your moment of truth, the life you were born to live. Ask for help from within and from others. Your soul is fearless and knows what to do, even if it may need some help now and then. Remember, your brain should be your soul’s ally, not its leader.
Can’t wait to hear what dance you have come up with for those two! Excited to see you all thriving as your true selves and adding grace and courage into this world like Amanda Gorman.
Let’s all be brave enough to be it! Step into your truth, ladies! Ciao!
Outro
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I really appreciate the time you take to rate and review the podcast. Get the backstory and what you’ve heard here today, and reach out to us at Thelnxx.com. That’s L N double X, because it’s about time, it’s about us. Stay in the groove on our social media @Lifelnxx and get ready to make your move, ladies.
Viva!
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