[00:02:00] consuelo: Hola chicas. Welcome to Encuentra's Your Voice podcast to listen to amazing Latina journeys from pain points to thriving authentically by embracing cultural identity. I'm your host, Consuelo Crosby, here with you every Wednesday at 5 p.

[00:02:22] consuelo: m. sunny California Pacific Coast time to introduce you to your next best amiga. and the life lessons that apply to all of us because it's the human condition. Yes, we are goddesses. We do life differently. And this podcast is the ultimate Latina narrative that speaks worldwide as a unified voice. Not a niche demographic or a minority community, but a thriving brilliant slice of humanity that just does life differently.

[00:02:58] consuelo: And talk about thriving. Happy Juneteenth to the African American population here in the U. S., celebrating their story to freedom that should not be forgotten, but rather learned even deeper every moment we have, and not just the origin, but the actual definition of society today from the immense impact of African Americans throughout the 400 year presence here.

[00:03:25] consuelo: enslaved, free, and due much respect and honor.

[00:03:29] consuelo: This past weekend, I attended a stunning performance by the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir at the Freighton Salvage Theatre in Berkeley in celebration and remembrance of Juneteenth. Now the founding artistic director, Terrence Kelly, mmm, he lit up the stage all by himself. But he was backed by the most amazing.

[00:03:57] consuelo: But he led this [00:04:00] powerful, interfaith, very diverse

[00:04:11] consuelo: choir, very diverse choir that came together, that comes together to speak in one voice. How much does that resonate here? How much does that resonate here? And he shared with us. This really makes you stop in your tracks. This is what I mean when you think you know Juneteenth. He shared with us all music here, all music in America, unless it was of Native American origins, all music here in America originated and was influenced by Africans and their African American ancestors. Listen, learn, love, that is our human condition that bonds us together as one. We are one and should treasure each other as one. And that's exactly what we're doing today on today's episode. It's all about togetherness and the most profound and life saving emotion of love.

[00:05:18] consuelo: As we continue with our celebration of Love is Love in this Pride Month, our compassionate guest, Jessica Ruiz, is a very happily married Latina. Who found her soulmate late in life, breaking all the barriers of the cultura and the expectations of getting married young and having children.

[00:05:40] consuelo: She is the founder of Latina Relationship Coach and she is all about love. In her own words, I love love. I believe in love. Everyone deserves to be loved and to love. regardless of where you are in your life journey with [00:06:00] relationship and life partners, this episode is for you because the very first and foremost piece of discovering your best relationship is to discover the love of self.

[00:06:12] consuelo: Without it, Jessica reminds us, adding another person into the mix is distracting you away from who you really are and what you really want in life. Especially the person who's going to walk alongside you for the rest of your life. And relationships, well, we can totally relate to what it's like to move into that space, trying to stay your authentic self in the most vulnerable situations.

[00:06:39] consuelo: It's so hard. It's so difficult. We all have painful stories about it. And Jessica shares her humorous dating app stories. Some are cringey.

[00:06:50] consuelo: And compassionate guidance and ultimate empowerment to Latinas seeking love on their terms. Jessica Ruiz celebrates her Peruvian heritage being born and raised in the Bronx and reveling in the annual celebration of mes del morado. A celebration of miracles with her Peruvian parents.

[00:07:13] consuelo: Jessica earned her bachelor's in sociology from Fordham University and her master's degree in social work. Her loving nature is exemplified in her full time career as a mental health therapist still is dedicated to her business, Latina Relationship Coach. to raise Latinas self confidence so they can find the love of their life.

[00:07:37] consuelo: It's all about love today, so get extra cozy, really listen to the powerfully helpful guidance that Jessica shares today, and get to know your next best amiga now, from her mom's plea for a miracle, to her breakout performance of Selena's amor prohibido. Welcome to in Cuentras your voice podcast [00:08:00] Jessica We are so honored to have you here And this is a topic that I really want to get into the little tease because it's something I have not personally experienced but I Before we go there, we always honor and

respect our ancestry and our heritage with love and pride because that's who we are.

[00:08:19] consuelo: So we'd love to have you dive into your beautiful heritage.

[00:08:25] Jessica: I'm happy to be here. Thank you for having me. And as far as my heritage, um, my parents are from Peru. Um, I was born in the Bronx in New York. So we have like our traditions. one of our traditions is actually a memorial, a purple month. Lord of Miracles, which is in October. Uh, we go to the mass, the procession.

[00:08:48] Jessica: That's something I've done since I was a baby. I even went to Peru, like my mom made that promise and we went to Peru for the procession over there. So we try to go if we can, um, over there in Peru.

[00:09:00] Jessica: If not, where we are at, like in Florida. When I lived in Ohio, we would look for a place too that would do that. And in New York, of course, uh, St. Patrick's Cathedral does that.

[00:09:11] consuelo: Oh, I didn't know that. That is beautiful. And October, that's my birth month, so we're hitting all the

[00:09:19] Jessica: Oh, see,

[00:09:20] consuelo: Um, for our listeners, explain a little bit more.

[00:09:27] Jessica: So el Mez de Morado like we wear purple. So, also it's about miracles. The Senior de Los Milagros, our Lord of miracles. Basically the story was there was an earthquake and the only thing that stood up or was like the image of, of Jesus. So that's why it's so important. and of course.

[00:09:51] Jessica: in miracles.

[00:09:52] Jessica: That's what happened with my mom. When she was pregnant with me, like she didn't know if she, because she was in Peru, like it [00:10:00] was six, seven months, when throughout her pregnancy and they thought that she was gonna lose me. But it was actually that it was just the placenta. So, she said, okay, one day she'll go with me if everything goes well with the pregnancy, we’ll go to Peru. And so we did go again, I was a teenager the first time I went to the procession, cause I've been going to Peru since I was 10.

[00:10:25] Jessica: So,

[00:10:26] consuelo: Oh, so that's beautiful. It is a miracle. We're so grateful that you're here for that. And her faith and her belief that is so beautifully and strong. And every year that really speaks to who you are. And we'll know more about that coming.

[00:10:43] consuelo: So year long deep dive into faith and love and passion all the things peruana

[00:10:50] Jessica: exactly.

[00:10:51] consuelo: . what do you think was the most difficult part of having two cultures growing up? You know, half, half, what was the most difficult part of getting past to really get into your identity?

[00:11:04] consuelo: And your authenticity.

[00:11:07] Jessica: Mm. as far as the most difficult, my family were matriarchs. So it's like the woman where the strong ones. So that maybe could be hard, if you're in a relationship or you're married and things like that. And of course, well, not in my family, but unfortunately they're still in the Latino culture and Peruvian, the machismo,

[00:11:30] consuelo: Mm

[00:11:30] Jessica: where like, you know, the men think that they're, you know, they're the men, they're providers, they're, you know, that the woman can't do anything or they got to be in the kitchen or cooking, um, things like that.

[00:11:42] Jessica: So there's still that. unfortunately. But again, like I said, in my family, the woman was the strong person and all of those things and independent and yeah.

[00:11:53] consuelo: So when you came into an age where you're thinking about relationship and framing yourself with a potential [00:12:00] partner, did that surprise you? Just like, because you're total matriarch? We come from matriarch too. But I have all brothers. So I already knew like, the, the friction because they were really aligning with American society and adopting that patriarchy.

[00:12:18] consuelo: And I'm like, what are you kidding? We come from matriarchy. What are you trying to be? So did you get that conflict at all?

[00:12:26] Jessica: I knew like definitely, uh, the person that I was going to be with, it will have to like also do. You know, help out like 50, 50, like we say, like, okay, we'll also, cook clean and I do have someone think that he's like that.

[00:12:39] Jessica: Cause if not, I wouldn't be able to be with him

[00:12:42] consuelo: So you really need to know who you are, like authentically, like before you even consider going into relationship because you don't want to find that out later. Oh boy, you don't want to find that out later.

[00:12:57] Jessica: Yeah, knowing who you are, loving yourself, finding yourself um, and that I do talk about, like, self love, self confidence, um, not losing yourself in a relationship.

[00:13:11] consuelo: we're going to get to all that because this is the juicy meat of it. Um, but tell us a little bit before you came into your business, what was your path? What did you want to do as you entered out into the world?

[00:13:26] Jessica: At first, um, I started out as actually pre med, so I wanted to be a pediatrician, but then in my sophomore year, I realized, okay, biology, chemistry, that's not for me. Um, and then, I worked, uh, like an, it was like an internship or work study. so the person there was like, it was a shelter for women and children, and she did like the after school, and she told me about social work.

[00:13:53] Jessica: So I was like, okay, I'm going to take an intro to social work class, learn more about it. My bachelor's is in [00:14:00] sociology and then my master's is in social work.

[00:14:03] consuelo: Oh, so you were always people framed. That, that is authentically who you are because you love people and you love love. This is what we know about you. Um, so let's just dive right into that because. You, you were already well versed, Peruanas, Latinas, we love people, the whole Latinidad loves people, and you're caring, you're such a caring person in working with the women and children at the shelter.

[00:14:30] consuelo: Well, let's get into your beautiful heart and your love of love and when did you decide? That you wanted to start your own business

[00:14:41] Jessica: Uh, that's like two, three years ago. So I wanted to start my business and I definitely knew it was going to be in love. Like I always say, I was born in the month of love, my birthday's February 11th. So of course, and I came out of the hospital when I was born in February 14th. So, uh, Valentine's day. So it just happens to be both isn't, you know, my birthday and Valentine's day.

[00:15:04] consuelo: Oh, sweet. What is the name of your business? What is it about? And, what was the inspiration? What, what led you to it?

[00:15:12] Jessica: the name of my business is Latina relationship coach. So I help single Latinas women, uh, finding self confidence so they can attract the love of their life. Um, like I said, I love love. I believe in love. Um, like everyone deserves to be loved and to love. As far as with that, my personal experience, like I've been through, like when I was single dating apps.

[00:15:37] Jessica: , speed dating, , even in one of my relationships, like my first love, I thought he was the one I thought I was going to get married with him. I was 23, so I thought, okay, yeah, that's the one. And I tried three times, but it wasn't. Yeah. At the third time I was like, okay, no, like the baseball three strikes.

[00:15:54] Jessica: You're out. Yeah, no. so yeah. And then [00:16:00] afterwards I was like, okay, yeah, I need to work on myself on my goals. And that's what I did.

[00:16:06] consuelo: Oh, that was very young. I was young too, but I, I didn't do the three strikes. I was like, okay, strike 10, I give a lot of benefit of the doubt to people. you focused on yourself back to what we were saying earlier, focus on yourself, focus on who you are and loving yourself.

[00:16:25] consuelo: Was there a moment in your life where you didn't love yourself as much, maybe as you learned to love yourself?

[00:16:33] Jessica: one thing like I realized like I was focusing too much on trying to find that one and I had to Realize myself that okay first is working on myself and that the person will come to me I mean, yes, you you know, you gotta go out and things like that, but it's like the law of attraction, like when you too much into that, it's not going to come because it's like, you're so focused on that, that that's your main thing so that's what I had to realize myself that, okay, you know, I still have to do my things. I still have to work on myself, preparing myself for that time when I'm with that person. I've always wanted to like get

married and have kids and things like that. That was always something I've always wanted

[00:17:17] consuelo: uh huh for certain you have you project all this energy of love and kindness. It's so soft It's like little waves coming how would you describe yourself then? What did you find about yourself that this is who I am? What it may be the top three that you just put out to the world. So that's the type of person you're attracting

[00:17:35] Jessica: for me. Like I'm passionate, loving, caring, kind, I do know what I want. I could be stubborn to that. I know. That's one of the things like I knew what I wanted and that's what helped me because again, when you're single and you're looking for someone, there's those that, don't want a long term relationship.

[00:17:55] Jessica: So you let them know, yeah, that's something you want, that you want a long term relationship. You [00:18:00] want something serious.

[00:18:01] consuelo: Yeah, don't be afraid to say that because you don't want them to leave. No, you want them to leave if they're not into what you want, right?

[00:18:10] Jessica: Exactly.

[00:18:10] consuelo: So you did go through the dating apps. I don't know much, I don't know anything about this. My daughters did it, even my husband now did it. But I was like, hmm. What was that like for you?

[00:18:22] Jessica: Well, I tried different dating apps. , so for me, like I would, I would go through different ones, like, okay, I would go on a date and then, they would talk to me and then they realized, oh, okay. I realized that I don't want a long term relationship. And we were talking for a month.

[00:18:40] Jessica: Or there was one that was like, Oh, by the way, I'm married. [00:18:44] consuelo: Oh gosh!

[00:18:45] Jessica: we could still be friends. And I'm like, No, that's okay. [00:18:49] consuelo: my

[00:18:49] Jessica: That's all right. I don't deal with married men. Thank you.

[00:18:52] consuelo: thank you very much, but no, you're missing the point here. This is a dating app.

[00:18:57] Jessica: Exactly.

[00:18:58] consuelo: my lord! Oh, did you ever find, like, someone who wasn't who they said they are? Is that what they call catfishing? This is how naive I am. Okay, well, I only heard that on a movie. What is that?

[00:19:12] Jessica: okay. Yeah. No, with that. Yes. Because you'll meet people that are like the catfishing or they want to scam you or things like that. And then you have to realize that. Yeah, you do. That's the thing sometimes with online, dating apps. That's why you got to be careful.

[00:19:27] Jessica: Like definitely if you're going to see them outside of the app. Definitely the video that you can see their face. If you are going to meet them in person, let it be a public place and let someone know too. Because again, you'd never know.

[00:19:41] consuelo: Right.

[00:19:42] consuelo: Which makes it so insanely difficult. Those are really powerful points that we were going to emphasize again for women who are in this dating app situation. Because here you are, like you're saying, you have to be authentic in order to attract your person, your partner [00:20:00] for life. And being authentic means being vulnerable.

[00:20:04] consuelo: And being open and being who you are. And yet the scenario can be so unreal, right?

[00:20:12] Jessica: no, it's

[00:20:13] consuelo: with the people who are on the platform and how difficult is that? So this all snowballs into why you wanted to come forward with a, a different position. So explain more about, your business.

[00:20:28] Jessica: Okay. So it's never too late to find love. , so that, that's something I, I do believe in, , like I said, I did want her to get married and everything. And i thought ok at 23, but it ended up being like a little bit later, like in my 40s. So, the point is that, that it's never too late.

[00:20:47] Jessica: So that's why I love what I do. It's just giving hope that yes, you do go through all of those things. You go through the dating apps, the ghosting, the frogs that we say, until you meet the right one, but you will meet the right one.

[00:21:01] consuelo: Mm hmm.

[00:21:02] Jessica: that we don't know when, how, Where things like that.

[00:21:06] consuelo: maybe you have been through these difficult situations with being ghosted or catfished or are coming against frog after frog after Dead road, kill frog

[00:21:16] consuelo: How do you encourage them women finding love. to just like trust how they feel and go forward with it?

[00:21:23] Jessica: That's why I like what I do because I know what they're going through too, because I've been through that where like, and not to give up because yes, eventually they will find that person, not to lose hope. like, okay, when will I find that person?

[00:21:38] Jessica: Uh, will I ever find that person? Is it going to be too late? Am I going to be too, old or things like that? and especially, in the Latino culture, like, okay, once you find the person, okay, when you're going to get married, when you're going to have your first child, all those things too.

[00:21:56] Jessica: So.

[00:21:57] consuelo: Yeah. Let's keep talking that, the cultura, because I think [00:22:00] that makes it difficult. Even when. You're very young. It's very young because it's forbidden. I know that was a big deal for me. It's like It was forbidden to go dating unless you were in a group. And then, you know, you had the curfew. And then they were waiting at the door.

[00:22:16] consuelo: And I remember even hearing my mom in her slipper heels, click, click, click, click, coming down the steps. We were at the door. And it's like, okay, you better go. Because we don't want her opening the door right now. It's difficult, right? And, and so how do you transition out of that And even know what it's like to be dating, right?

[00:22:37] Jessica: My parents were also old school. They were strict in that aspect. like you wouldn't introduce them to your parents and things like that

because you knew they weren't there probably might not like them or it wasn't, you know, like, when I introduced my boyfriends and things because it was something serious.

[00:22:54] Jessica: mean the good part like I know like With my mom I was able to tell her it was just we would try to like not tell my dad

[00:23:05] consuelo: that's great though. You had your mom supporting you. Mine was the opposite.

[00:23:09] consuelo: so what is it like if I'm sitting there going, Jessica, I've had it, I don't get it. And we tend to take it all on ourselves, right? We tend to blame ourselves. For not finding the partner that, we really want in our life. So what is it like? What would you lead women through?

[00:23:31] Jessica: So with that, , that it takes two. So it just depends on how, She also sees things and what's happened because there's always something because of previous relationships or they could be triggered or, um, they're afraid of, finding the wrong one or fear of abandonment or fear of intimacy.

[00:23:51] Jessica: It just depends. Every woman is different and their situation is different. But so if that's something that they want, that could be [00:24:00] worked on.

[00:24:01] consuelo: Oh So you go back and really understand the Experiences that they've had in the past and really understand where their vulnerability is In the opposite way, not in authenticity, but in perhaps fear of it happening again , or being unsure of themselves and address that first and then go

[00:24:25] Jessica: And Exactly. And yeah, just seeing what, I mean, if there's things like, okay, because there's going to be things that could trigger you from your past. and it's just, okay, those are things, you know, you've got to work on because again, you could have been cheated on or things like that. And also communication, communication, honesty, all of that is important in a relationship and getting out of your comfort zone.

[00:24:52] consuelo: How do you Encourage someone to like lean in to go to that like you say Someplace that's way outside their comfort zone and still trust their partner.

[00:25:04] Jessica: I know how it is to get out of your comfort zone because that's something I had to do like when I was single and trying to meet people

and even like there was like a meetup and I didn't know anyone and I went by myself. you get used to that as far as getting out of your comfort zone, being vulnerable, , so, in my case, My husband, he's an extrovert, so he gets me out of my comfort zone because he's, that's the way he is. and that's how we compliment each other at things like that. Cause he's yeah, the friendly type. And he does like the jack of all trades, he does DJing and all of that.

[00:25:41] Jessica: So he's used to that. , But I know at first to get out of that, like, okay. To meet that person. it's taking that leap.

[00:25:50] consuelo: So when you're with women, because this is for Latina women in your business, when you're with women, are you coaching them through relationships [00:26:00] as well? are you coaching them to go out and start experiencing, finding their relationship?

[00:26:09] Jessica: Yeah, I'm coaching them to find the relationship. So, yeah, so getting out of their comfort zone, being vulnerable, yes, it is hard. but it's something that, you know, you'll get used to that, it's also hard like to trust because of what you went through, but that's little by little.

[00:26:27]

[00:26:27] consuelo: It is a brave leap of faith when you're. framing a relationship truly on how your soul is feeling and not about looking at the security. Oh, he has money. He has a good degree. He has a good job. that's all thinking from your head. And those are the things that can all go away in an instant. did you feel your husband? because you're all about love. That's all coming from the heart and soul. Did you feel him at all? Yeah.

[00:27:02] Jessica: being romantic and, and I've always wanted that, like someone who's romantic, all of those things, like the way he was brought up to, like, he's close to his family, and he's Colombian too. all of those things, that's what I liked about him, like his faith, He's close to his mom, his family.

[00:27:20] Jessica: And he's always there, for them. So the, those were one of the things that I liked in the way he is as far as being patient, with me, also that we're able to talk about things. Um,

[00:27:33] consuelo: Oh, that's beautiful. See, you're bringing up things that we may not consider, especially when you're young. I think that is something that you discover as you go on in life. When you start really getting through life experiences that are so difficult.

[00:27:50] consuelo: you may know yourself at the point you're looking for someone, but we change and we grow and we develop in [00:28:00] ways we don't see coming. So how do you trust that the person's going to evolve with you?

[00:28:06] Jessica: We talk about things like even before that. Like what are things that we want? Do we want to get married? Do we want to have kids, things with, finances, all of those things, talking about it before, you get married, because those are important things where you're going to live at, um, all of those things, because if not, then you'll be caught by surprise.

[00:28:28] consuelo: Oh, and that's wicked. There's the wicked point. Yeah, that's the heartbreak.

[00:28:33] consuelo: Which I've heard with, and very heart wrenching for women, Who do go through that, who say, I do want a family, I do want to have children, they do get married. And then five years later, the guy's like, Yeah, no, I don't, I don't want to have children.

[00:28:48] consuelo: And that's really heart wrenching. At that point you're choosing, Well, who am I and do I want children if it means not being with my husband?

[00:28:58] Jessica: exactly. Or maybe he thought, okay, um, you know, once we're married, she'll change her mind and no,

[00:29:04] consuelo: Oof.

[00:29:04] Jessica: And then with that, I mean, that's a hard decision because

it's like, okay, after you're married and after five years, are you going to settle? [00:29:12] consuelo: Mm hmm. Exactly.

[00:29:14] Jessica: like, okay, well, he lied to me. You know, he knew what I wanted and do I want to like, okay, well, I can't be with him

[00:29:22] consuelo: exactly. Exactly. You've invested five years of your life, and for women, you know, just starting the process over,

[00:29:30] Jessica: Know, it's hard.

[00:29:30] consuelo: it's so hard. It is so difficult, right? Okay, now I'm kind of curious, though, because I'm, I'm an extrovert. My husband's the introvert. I'm the extrovert.

[00:29:41] consuelo: I'm very fascinated, as an introvert, that you're all about going outside of your comfort zone and going up to total strangers and involving yourself in searching further. This is your past because you're beautifully married now, but how did you do that? How did you get your introverted self?

[00:29:58] consuelo: Ooh.[00:30:00]

[00:30:00] Jessica: That is something I had to work on, like, okay, because, again, like I said, when I had to do, like, the meetup, like, that I had to work on myself, like, okay, telling myself, okay, I can do this, I'm going to do this, and see how it goes. So it took me time to actually say, okay, yeah.

[00:30:17] consuelo: Okay,

[00:30:18] Jessica: I'm gonna do.

[00:30:19] Jessica: And yeah, because again, it's not like Yes.

[00:30:23] consuelo: yourself up? Then how did you not take it personally if nothing panned out?

[00:30:31] Jessica: Well that's sometimes you do. Um, because it's like you think, okay, is something wrong with me?

[00:30:38] consuelo: Yeah That's our really first go to. It's just

[00:30:42] Jessica: exactly. Was there something I did

[00:30:44] consuelo: Mm hmm.

[00:30:45] Jessica: it's like, no, you didn't do anything wrong, is just that the other person didn't want the same thing as you do.

[00:30:53] consuelo: No, I love that I love that. I think I'm gonna put that on a t shirt. That's some merch for you and your business don't take it about yourself and therefore don't start altering your wants and your true dreams just to find the one person. They will come in the most random places.

[00:31:14] consuelo: Oh, I love that one. [00:31:15] Jessica: Yeah, exactly.

[00:31:16] consuelo: Yeah, it's just not meant to be. Trust the process. Trust the universe. Trust the process. Love who you are the deepest that I think that's really develops your confidence when you really love yourself and then you you'd stop thinking from your head.

[00:31:37] consuelo: I think when you really find that true self love, self confidence, and you really break into your authenticity. You stop thinking from your head and you don't even realize the things you worried about before aren't even a thought process. You're, you're all operating from within here. It's powerful. Oh,

[00:31:55] Jessica: is. It is. And things happen for a reason. So with [00:32:00] an ex of mine, like, he didn't want to get married or he didn't want to have kids. And I was like, okay, well, what do I do here? Do I settle? Or do I, or do we break up? So that's even hard, especially if you're breaking up, not because you don't have feelings but because both of you want different things. But you have to do what's best for you. Like, because then who knows if you would have stayed. Oh, you're going to bring up, okay, for you, for you, I settled.

[00:32:34] consuelo: good point. So you're carrying that, that's going to be a little bit of a, expectation and if that expectation doesn't pan out, it turns into a grudge that you hold against the other person. Oh, I feel like we should be lying down on a sofa talking about this. Wow. I never thought about that. Yeah. Wow. Oh, so this is so good.

[00:32:58] consuelo: I'm just like, we could go on for hours and hours. We're going to have a whole show based on this.

[00:33:02] consuelo: So besides the business, you have a lot of dreams. Like I said, you are rolling. You have a Found your place and you are rolling towards what you want. What else do you want to be doing?

[00:33:13] Jessica: also writing a book. So that's another thing that I'm doing. It's called the Latino single life. So it's also about what I've done, as far as experiences and to help other women also, not to lose hope and to keep on going and to work on themselves. So that's what it talks about.

[00:33:33] consuelo: Oh

[00:33:35] Jessica: on that.

[00:33:35] consuelo: Yes, that's so it's so valuable from the Latina point of view not that we're different in the sense of being human and we're not a genre We're not some niche, but it just really helps It really helps when you're especially with something so vulnerable and so intimate, that you're talking with someone or you're learning from someone who understands what it was [00:34:00] like.

[00:34:00] consuelo: Because it's, I didn't find this as a young person. I had no one to turn to because I didn't have a community of Latinas around me. Where we lived, it was very isolating in the fact that all the other girls could do whatever they wanted. And as they got older, they could date, they could go out with guys.

[00:34:22] consuelo: They could come home late. I was like, woof, I don't even know what you're talking about. And then as they got older, they could live together and they could travel to get all of that. It's like, nope, nope. Can't do that either. So it really is valuable. I love that. I love that you're writing the book. I love that you have the business.

[00:34:41] consuelo: and Especially when we are a people love romantic focused culture. It's what we do.

[00:34:49] consuelo: we know a lot about you.

[00:34:51] consuelo: Peruana, raised in New York, living in Florida, total love bug, total romance. Little introvert, but what is something we wouldn't guess about you?

[00:35:04] Jessica: as far as, well, I do like to, like, I like to, like, dance and things like that and sing. So I think I do have a little bit of that extrovert. But, like, But at the same time, I know, like, I could be also shy. So I could be both.

[00:35:20] consuelo: Yeah?

[00:35:22] Jessica: so it could be a little bit of both where, yeah, [00:35:24] consuelo: So you would go out and sing in public? Like, that [00:35:27] Jessica: well, with that, I've only done that once, like karaoke. [00:35:31] Jessica: I've only done karaoke once. So yeah, um,

[00:35:36] consuelo: Do you remember what you

[00:35:37] consuelo: sang?

[00:35:39] Jessica: I was in the DR, yes, the Selena song, Amor Prohibido.

[00:35:43] consuelo: Oh, cool. You broke into it. Did you let go? Did you, like, throw in all the

[00:35:49] Jessica: Yeah, no, I did, I did, like I did, yeah, so like I said, I, but I do tend to sing, like if I listen to a song, I'm like singing and things like that and don't care, like [00:36:00] who's around me, but like karaoke, like I said, I did that once.

[00:36:03] consuelo: Oh, Jessica, what a blast this has been. I could go on and on about.

[00:36:08] Jessica: definitely.

[00:36:09] consuelo: and relationship and romance and now we're in spring, so

it's all coming forward.

[00:36:14] consuelo: Everyone's getting excited and going out. I love it. Oh, thank you so much for the life tips. Boy, life lessons coming out of this one. From ourselves to relationship, from now to future. So much to learn from. And congratulations, again, your business.

[00:36:34] Jessica: my business is Latina relationship coach

[00:36:37] consuelo: How can people contact you if they want to be working

with you or they want to find more information?

[00:36:43] Jessica: They could contact me through my Instagram, which is Latino Relationship Coach. I also have like my website, which is also Latino Relationship Coach slash homepage. Um, so yeah, those are the different ways that they could contact me.

[00:36:59] consuelo: So latinarelationshipcoach. com

[00:37:03] Jessica: yes, Latinerelationshipcoach. com slash home page.

[00:37:06] consuelo: okay, and that's how they'll find you in the business sense we will have all that information so they can link right through from the show notes on the episode

[00:37:14] consuelo: thank you so much for your time and your knowledge and your inspiration. We're really so proud and happy to have you here.

[00:37:22] Jessica: and thank you for letting me be there.

[00:37:24] consuelo: Jessica Ruiz. Founder of Latina Relationship coach. Spilling all the tea of what the journey of love can be like, and how to make it the most beautiful experience of your life.

[00:37:37] consuelo: , Her calm presence is exactly who you need guiding you during those difficult times to stay confident in yourself. Keep that faith in your journey and celebrate the amazing person you are in heart and soul. Remember, you can reach out to Jessica on her website at latinarelationshipcoach.

[00:37:56] consuelo: com and on her Instagram profile [00:38:00] also at latinarelationshipcoach. These are linked in the show notes of this episode for easy and quick access because I just know you have a thousand questions to ask Jessica. I would totally love to host a panel on the Latina single life and all the different journeys we collectively have taken along our love path.

[00:38:20] consuelo: So, so many stories from those early days at home sneaking out of bedroom windows, don't tell me you didn't do that, to finding the love of your life in the most unexpected scenarios. The emotions would be all over the place on that one and I would love to hear every single one of them. Remember to join us next week for the pod club episode of today's conversation with Jessica as we discover the gems she shared with us.

[00:38:47] consuelo: And yes, They are those mic dropping statements of looking at ourselves in the mirror. Not the makeup and hair mirror, but the honesty, authentic mirror that is a true reflection of self. So that we can keep nurturing relationships that fuel love and kindness in our lives. To all our friends, amigas, and comunidad out there, we continue to share the love with you and manifest a kinder world for all of us.

[00:39:16] consuelo: Step into your truth, ladies. Ciao.

[00:39:19] consuelo: we love that you have subscribed to this podcast and continue to champion women who understand the life of all things Latina. Be

sure to follow and subscribe to the Encuentras Your Voice podcast so you don't miss a single episode.

[00:39:35] consuelo: They will automatically drop into your listening device each week, and we'd really, really appreciate If you take a moment to add to the reviews that we already have, tell us what you like, Tell us what you're hoping to hear, and we will get there.

[00:39:52] consuelo: Share this with your friends and family to help Help us grow our comunidad and keep following us on our social media, Encuentras Your Voice [00:40:00] we are so grateful to you for helping us grow this community and would love to learn of all the amazing Latinas who you know are creating the world we thrive in. So reach out to me on social media at Encuentras Your Voice, and let's keep leaning into our authenticity in pride. Help us make Encuentras Your Voice the place where you are 100 percent represented.